Finding my rythm again ... one step at a time (Day 199)

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One step forward
Two steps back

It doesn't matter if I am walking in the best runners or barefoot in blundstones
It is still one step at a time.
One
Step

Today is day 199 of walking.  Day 199.  I am pretty proud of myself.  This is a new thing for me - as I am a little lazy I think, and easy to pack in the towel if I get tired, or emotionally low, or too hot.  And man, yesterday and today were hot walking days. 

On the weekend I was feeling low - I was hurting physically.  I had a HUGE hunch why.
I live with a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia Syndrome of FMS for short.  (Diagnosed in 1995 so you would THINK I would have it figured out by now lol) 

It is painful - and it is invisible.  No one knows the pain unless I tell them.  I look and appear "normal" but one thing I have found is that if I can minimize the sugar and the flour that I consume, it is a good thing - because with FMS, its about inflammation and Sugar and Gluten seem to kick it up a few notches, which results in more pain, and more stiffness.  

So my plan yesterday was to take it 1 hour at a time.
And today - my plan was: to take it one hour at a time.

I do not eat this way because of fad.  I do it for me.

I have not liked myself for a number of years.  It is hard to figure out how to love a body that is carrying extra weight.  Maybe some would think it was just lies of the world telling me that, but I would say NO.  It is likely more the other way, that if I acted like I was okay with my extra weight, and okay with a body that could not move to do the little things without heavy breath - then I would say that would be the lies.
I have even had a friend who told me I just needed to love my body.  That has been my biggest tear-filled struggle these past 30 plus years.  And one that God has heard me lament about.  And it says that God "collects our tears in a bottle" so I figure on that one aspect alone, HE must have enough tears collected for a nice little lake!

ANYHOW ... I am taking it one hour at a time.  Literally.  
God has to be in this journey with me because on my own, I would be left to self-destruct and then lay there in a crumpled mess.  However HE is working in me - and teaching me about my self-worth and beauty in HIS eyes first ... 
So it is ~ ONE STEP AT A TIME - ONE HOUR AT A TIME!  
Some other post, I will tell you what I am doing :)

Take care and I hope you find joy in your journey!!
Barefoot in Blundstones,
Joy 

PS ... not sure what this song really has to do with my journey today - but the words just came to me as I was writing.  I want to dance!!  I also know Zephaniah 3:17 says that my LORD dances over me!! 




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